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Archive for the ‘Facts, Fictions, and just plain Weirdness :D’ Category

10.

Mary Celeste

This shit was a brigantine merchant ship that was famous for being discovered on Dec. 4th, 1872, unmanned, abandoned, and despite the weather it was fine.  Noone knows what happened to the crew on board although some say it was aliens, the Bermuda Triangle, sea monsters, and other wild hypotheses.

9.

Flying Dutchman

A ship that can never make port and is doomed to sail the oceans for eternity. There were supposed sightings in the 19th an 20th century about a ship that was glowing with an unearthly light. It is rumored that if it hailed by another ship that the crew will try to send messages to those long dead. If you see the ship at sea it an omen of doom.

8.

Queen Mary

She is also known as the Grey Ghost, for her troop ship movement during World War Two. There are hundreds of stories about her being haunted. One involves the engine room where it is said a ghost of a crewmember that was crushed to death by a watertight door lives. Another is a child that cries in a paly area. An infant died on the Queen Mary a very long time ago.  You can visit the ghostly ship in Long Beach, it is retired now and a tourist attraction.

7.

The Baychimo

This ship is a true mystery. It was a steel ship that weighed in at 1,322 tons and as it steamed along it got stuck in an ice pack in October, 1931. The ships crew waited out a blizzard in a wood shack and when the blizzard was over the ship was gone. They assumed it had sunk, but it was seen 45 miles away and for the next 38 years it shows up randomly floating alone and crewless.

6.

SS. Valencia Lifeboat

In this odd but true ghostly tale the S.S. Valencia was wrecked off the southwest coast of Vancouver Island in 1906. What is odd is that 27 years after she sunk her lifeboat was found in good condition. There are also random sightings of the ship itself throughout the area.

5.

The Octavius

Was an English trading ship that was returning from China, she was found drifting off the coast of Greenland. Her captain hooping for a faster way home decided to forgo the normal trip around the horn and took the first trip through the Northwest Passage. The bodies of her crew were found frozen as well as the Captain. He was actually found writing in his log frozen to death.

4.

Lady Lovibond

The story of a sad love and what happened. The ship was carrying Capatin Simon Peel and his new wife. They were said to be in love, but Simon had a friend that also loved his newly wedded wife, and steered the ship into the Goodwind Sands where the boat was damaged badly. All the passengers died, but the ship is said to be wandering the sea for the past 50 years.

3.

The Caleuche

Ship shows up near the island of Chiloe, and the legend is that anyone that drowns in the waters of the ocean rides the ghostly ship. The ship is said to have voices of the passengers laughing along with party music.

2.

Eliza Battle

This is the greatest maritime disaster in the Tombigbee River history. Twenty six people died out of 55 to 60 and now the Eliza Battle has entered as a ghost ship. It is said to be seen burning as it steams down the Nanafalia river.

1.

Titanic

She isn’t a ghostly story yet, but her disaster is long lived and well known. I have no doubts that at some point someone will see her steaming along the ocean her passengers looking for a more substantial resting place.

 

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By Evan Kasindorf Mar 22, 2010 2,725,001 views

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There are unsolved crimes, and then there are the kind of creepy, “What the hell could possibly be going on here” capers that keep the cops, and anyone who hears about them, up at night.

Here are the real cases that almost fall into X-Files territory:

#5.
The Taman Shud Case

The victim was found dead at 6:30 am, December 1, 1948, under a street lamp at Somerton Beach in Australia. And with that, we have exhausted everything we know about the man. It’s the things we don’t know that have been baffling authorities ever since. Including the meaning of the apparently uncrackable secret code he left behind.

But more on that in a moment. Things first started to lurch towards the creepy when police noticed that all his clothes’ identification marks had been removed. They were eventually and painstakingly able to place a jacket to America, which was strange because his dental records and fingerprints didn’t match anyone who’d ever lived there… or anywhere else in the world. It was like the guy had never existed.


Would have saved them a ton of time, and been exactly as helpful.

So the cops must have been half expecting it when the coroner returned with the cause of death: “Sudden, acute onset of damned if I know.” The autopsy revealed exceptional health, a half-digested pasty in his stomach, and congestion in his brain and stomach that would have been consistent with poisoning if, you know, they’d found even a trace of poison anywhere in his body. For good measure, his spleen was three times too big.

Every breakthrough seemed to increase the mystery. They discovered a brown suitcase that had apparently belonged to the man, but that only revealed more clothes with the tags removed, and the aforementioned jacket.

The cops also discovered a secret pocket in the man’s pants, which contained a scrap of paper with the words “Tamam Shud” printed on it (the words meaning “ended” or “finished”).


The secret pockets in our pants are filled with Cheez-its.

The text looked like it was a scrap torn from a book. And it turned out it was; from a collection of poems called The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam. And not just any Rubaiyat, but a specific translation, and an extremely rare one at that.

This was pointed out after police did an Australia-wide search as if the book was the ark of the goddamn covenant, presumably braving Indiana Jones-esque temples and solving ancient aboriginal riddles before some dude mentioned he found a copy of that exact book in the back seat of his car right around the time and location of death.

Sure enough, “Tamam Shud” was missing from the books pages. Instead of a library card with the dead man’s name printed on it or something even a little bit helpful, the book contained the clue that would take the mystery from “spooky” to “officially starting to piss us off.”

It Gets Weirder:

In the back of the book, the cops found this code:

Five sets of seemingly random letters, the second of which is crossed out. So, what does this code tell us? Nothing. Nothing at all. To this day it remains unsolved.


Or is it just waiting for Nicolas Cage to solve it?

Was the code the result of a disturbed mind, or chronic boredom, perhaps? Turns out, no. The most recent attempt to solve the case found the letters aren’t random, just some mysterious cipher nobody was familiar with. Can you solve it? If so, you’re about to be famous, considering people have been trying for more than 60 years.

#4.
The BC Feet Mystery

Feet, severed feet, usually lodged in shoes, are washing up on beaches in British Columbia.

For those of you who aren’t familiar, that’s a province in western Canada, north of Washington state. Now, all sorts of things wash up on shore, and it’s not news that people drown or fall off of fishing boats. But how many severed feet would you have to find before you started to consider it a bit odd?


This many.

A total of eight goddamned feet have been found in the last few years, five of which have been put on a map for some reason. Strangely, almost all of the feet are in running shoes. Also, some creepy bastard stuck an animal paw into a running shoe as a hoax, after the story hit headlines.


Animals wearing shoes is unsettling enough as it is.

Out of two pairs of feet and six lone wolves, one pair has been identified–the dude’s left foot having been found four months after the right. Police mentioned the man was depressed and likely killed himself. Mystery solved?


Done and done.

It Gets Weirder:

Haha, no. The first two feet were found in the same week. They were both right feet and found in different places. Some theorize the feet are from a boating accident or plane crash, but they’ve been found in very different places and carried by different currents.

The other theory is the one you probably immediately thought of the moment we pointed out lots of severed feet were washing up on the beach: some psychotic killer is behind it.


Psycho killer? Qu’est Que C’est?

If you’re wondering why he hacks off the feet and throws them at the beach, the answer is he probably isn’t. If there’s a body decaying in the water, feet often rot off the relatively weak ankle. Tennis shoes float, so you wind up with free-floating feet. As for who the other feet belong to, and why they keep showing up on British Columbia beaches in running shoes, well, we probably won’t know until we find the rest of the victims.

#3.
The Toynbee Tiles

These are cryptic messages found embedded in asphalt in various cities. The messages are thought to be layers of linoleum and asphalt crack-filling compound, and all tiles are found with variations of the same short message, referencing 2001: A Space Odyssey and suggesting we resurrect the dead on planet Jupiter.

Other than that, the only things setting these abnormally permanent acts of vandalism apart: They’ve been showing up out of nowhere, with no explanation for 30 damned years.

You can see the word “Toynbee” at the top, which is referring to a famous historian. And if you’ve seen 2001 you know that the planet Jupiter is involved. And… that’s as much sense as we can make of it.

So, what, it’s one crazy guy leaving messages. No mystery there…

It Gets Weirder:

…only it can’t be just one guy.

The tiles can be found across dozens of U.S. cities, and even South America. Unless we have an independently wealthy, globetrotting lunatic on our hands, there is a group of people who plant these tiles around the Western Hemisphere like the eco-terrorists in 12 Monkeys.


Handles Franklin is the craziest Globetrotter.

The cops did have a suspect once, one James J. Morasco. However, despite an interest in Toynbee and Kubrick, his widow swore up and down he couldn’t possibly be the tiler, and that he did not have an interest in Jupiter. Oh, yes, we said widow. Even if he was the tiler, he died in 2003, and the tiles have not stopped. Also, dude would’ve been in his 70s when he laid the tiles.

There are over 60 in Philadelphia, which seems to be the Toynbee Tile hotspot, and the location of four tiles together that told a bizarre, rambling story how the mafia, FBI and the Soviets are out to get him.


Cryptic messages left in asphalt are not the best way to prove your sanity.

Well they probably are out to get you now, buddy, if you started putting those fucking tiles on their streets.

#2.
The Glico Morinaga Case aka the Monster With 21 Faces

In the 1980s, the Japanese food giant Ezaki Glico was blackmailed by a mysterious group of apparent super villains, calling itself the Monster with 21 faces.

It started with two armed men who broke into the home of the president of Glico, kidnapping him in front of his family. The men held the executive in a warehouse, calling the company and demanding 100 million Yen and 100 kilos of gold bullion. The victim escaped the warehouse before he could find out whether or not his company was willing to pay to ransom his ass. None of the bad guys were caught and that’s too bad, because the “Monster” wasn’t through.


Artist’s rendition.

A couple of weeks later, several cars in the company parking lot were set on fire. Then, the “Monster” began to send letters.


“Dear Glico, How have you been? I’m fine, but this weather is crazy right? Guess that’s why it’s called global warming. Hahaha. We set your car on fire.”

In the first letter (sent in a plastic container along with hydrochloric acid because why the hell not?) the Monster claimed they had poisoned Glico’s candies, which resulted in Glico losing $21 million dollars worth of product that had to be pulled from shelves. The number may be a coincidence, but then again, who knows? The Monster taunted the police by detailing in a letter its method of entry, what typewriter it used to write the message and where it found the container with the acid in it. It didn’t matter; cops scoured the country for them and came up empty.

Soon enough, just to prove they were toying with everyone, the Monster suddenly sent a letter stating its forgiveness of Glico, and moved on.


“We forgive you!”

It Gets Weirder:

The Monster then turned its attention to another food company: Morinaga. Another letter was sent, similar to the Glico one, only this time, investigations turned up a total of 21 packages laced with the highly toxic sodium cyanide. Being the polite kind of shadowy creepy terrorist/terrorist group, the boxes were helpfully labeled with “Contains Toxins,” an example all criminals should follow.


Warning: Contains Bomb.

The police, getting desperate, thought they caught a glimpse of the mastermind behind the Monster during a money drop (the group had demanded cash from another company). An officer described the criminal mastermind as a man having “eyes like those of a fox,” which would give him the nickname “The Fox-Eyed Man.”


Clearly the man is a Bond villain waiting to happen.

The same mysterious man was spotted again later, in a car during a sting operation. He escaped, but the cops found the car, and a radio transceiver that he had been using to listen into all of the police communications during the sting.

So finally they’ve got a description of one of the bad guys! That resulted in… nothing. The Monster tormented several corporate giants for years, mocked the police, walked the streets as some of the most wanted men in the world and not a single one of them ever got caught. A police superintendent got so frustrated by being outmaneuvered by the Monster that he resigned in disgrace. Oh, wait, we misread that. He actually, committed suicide by fucking setting himself on fire.

Before disappearing into the night like goddamned Keyser Soze, the “Monster” released a letter mocking the dead man, and announced it would stop torturing food companies, apparently taking this entire thing as some sort of childish game. The Monster’s final words to the public:

We are bad guys. That means we’ve got more to do other than bullying companies. It’s fun to lead a bad man’s life.

– Monster with 21 Faces.


P.S. See you soon.

#1.
The Lead Masks Case

In 1966, a Brazilian boy flying a kite happened upon the bodies of two engineers lying next to each other in the grass. There was no sign of how they had died before the boy stumbled across them and he claimed he found them that way. We’re sure the cops took a good hard look at him to make sure he wasn’t like that murderous magical kid from The Twilight Zone who could kill people with his mind.


Or the host of the Twilight Zone who could kill people with his gun.

Anyway, before long the hill was crowded with policemen, scratching their heads at an utterly baffling crime scene–if it was a crime at all. The two dead men were dressed for their funerals in fancy suits and impermeable coats. There was an empty water bottle nearby. There were no signs of violence on either of them.

Why is it called the “Lead Masks Case”? Well, that’s the baffling part. The dead men wore lead masks, a type used to protect against radiation.

The two guys were identified as electronic technicians from the area.

The police gathered evidence and eventually created a reconstruction of the day of their deaths. In it, the men buy their raincoats and go to a bar to buy bottled water. Whatever the reason, one of the men appeared rather nervous, and when they left the bar they went straight to the hill the boy found them at, then spontaneously dropped dead. Case closed.


Great job everyone!

It Gets Weirder:

A notebook was found at the scene. The notes inside translate to:

16:30 be at the agreed place.

18:30 swallow capsules, after effect protect metals wait for the mask sign

Well, they swallowed “capsules,” so obviously that’s what killed them, right? The problem is the note seems to imply they were waiting for something to happen after the capsules took effect, which means if they were poison, the two guys didn’t know they were. Also, the men had a coupon to return the water bottle when they were finished with whatever they were doing, which also seems to imply they didn’t plan on dying on that hill.

Toxicology tests could not be taken due to the victims’ organs not being properly preserved (they were apparently left in storage too long, but we like to think the investigators took the idea of heart volleyball and ran with it).

So, what in the hell convinced them to go out to a hill, strap on radiation protection and swallow some strange capsules? What effect were they waiting for? What were the masks protecting them from? Was there some third party who convinced them to do all of this, saying the pills would, what, make them travel back in time? Or give them super powers? Was it all part of some 60s Brazillian version of Punk’d?


How far does the rabbit hole go?

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21 Jan 2011, written by Revelation0 Comments

It’s Fridayyyy babyyyy, so that means it’s time to drink and maybe it’s your birthday. Maybe you’re low on cash and somebody offers to buy you one of these shots. Whatever the case may be, avoid these shots at all costs or you’ll find yourself visiting the porcelain god. But at the same time, you aren’t really going to turn down a free shot of alcohol, even if it is called Gorilla Puke, are you, yea didn’t think so you alcoholic.

1. Gorilla Puke

Have you ever seen a gorilla puke? This is why.

Ingredients
– ¾ oz. Bacardi 151
– ¾ oz. Wild Turkey Bourbon Whiskey

2. Liquid Steak


The cheapest steak on earth.

Ingredients
– 1½ oz. Barcardi 151
– Worcestershire Sauce

The rest of the gross shots below

3. Flatliner

Drinking this shot will definitely put an end to your good night.

Ingredients
– ¾ oz. Jigger Sambuca
– ¾ oz. shot Gold Tequila
– dashes of Tabasco sauce

4. Motor Oil


This will get your motor running…running right to the bathroom

Ingredients
– 1 oz. Jagermeisteer Herbal Liqueur
– ½ oz. Peppermint Schnapps
– ½ oz. Goldschlager Cinnamon Schnapps
– ½ oz Malibu Coconut Rum

5. Eggermeister

Do I even need to explain why this is a bad idea?

Ingredients
– 1 ½ oz. Jaegermeister
– One pickled egg (common in most bars)
– One highball glass

6. Prairie Oyster


Rocky Balboa’s Friday night drink of choice.

Ingredients
– 1½ oz. Room Temperature Bourbon
– 1 Raw Egg
– 1 dash Tabasco

7. New Jersey Turnpike

This shot is created when the bartender musters up a shot glass full of alcohol residue from a bar mat and bar rag. The later this shot is ordered the nastier it will be.

Ingredients
– One Bar Mat
– One Bar Rag

8. Smoker’s Cough

Is this a shot or condiment? You be the judge.

Ingredients
– 1½ oz. Jagermeister
– One tablespoon of warm Mayonnaise

9. The Tapeworm

Do you really want to take a shot that is named after a parasite that can give you symptoms like: abdominal discomfort, diarrhea, loss of appetite?

Ingredients
– 1 oz. Vodka
– ½ oz. Tobasco
– Pepper
– Small Portion of Mayonnaise

 

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Posted by  admin in Infographic

cocaine 01 150x104 Facts About Cocaine (Infographic)Pure cocaine was first extracted from the leaves of the coca plant in 1859 & was marketed in a fortified wine in France as early as 1863. Cocaine was first used in the U.S in the 1880s, where it was applied as an anesthetic in eye, nose & throat operations.

cocaine Facts About Cocaine (Infographic)

Watch how Cocaine is actually made!  You will never believe it!

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by RYAN on OCTOBER 25, 2010

in SUGAR BITES

Child stars are loved and fawned over for their irresistible cuteness, insightful one-liners and generally mischievous behavior. Rarely do we think about all of the pressure and stress placed atop those tiny shoulders when a child is thrown into the very-adult Hollywood world. Sometimes everything turns out okay, but there are some who buckle beneath the weight of celebrity status at such a young age. Here are 15 child stars who became really screwed up adults.

Jodie Sweetin

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Getting her start by doing commercials for Oscar Meyer and Sizzler and landing a guest appearance on the show “Valerie”, Jodie Sweetin was just gearing up for the role of which she is best known: feisty middle daughter Stephanie Tanner in ABC’s “Full House”. Eight hugely successful seasons later she was back on the job market. With her showbiz career exploding at such a young age, she realized her guest roles in “Party of Five” and “Brotherly Love” might not last and decided it would be a good decision to get back into school. If only this had panned out.

Poor Stephanie Tanner had no idea who she was, according to her 2006 interview with Good Morning America. She feebly rationalized her extreme methamphetamine habit and stated, “this extra hurdle to overcome, you know — trying to prove who I wasn’t, that I wasn’t the girl from “Full House” — but I didn’t really know who Jodie was.” Jodie’s remedy was marriage to crystal meth — err, a police officer — actually, both. While the premature marriage to the young cop unfortunately failed, her relations with crystal meth remained as staunch as ever. It took an intervention from John Stamos, Bob Saget, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen in order for her to finally check into rehab.

After marriage number two and her first child, it seems Jodie’s addiction was brought to the forefront again. Allegations made by her then husband Corey Herpin of driving while intoxicated with their daughter in the car was the beginning of a long custody battle and separation process.

Judy Garland

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While Judy Garland is so much more awesome than many of the trashier celebrities on this list, she’s certainly had her problems. Garland was a spritely sixteen year old when she was cast to play Dorothy in “The Wizard of Oz”, and would forever be associated with this success. Though she had many accolades, and even performed at Carnegie Hall, Judy had made a complete mess of her life outside of her stardom. With no less than five failed marriages — with at least two gay men — she bounced from musicians to actors to Mark Herron, a man who was paid to deliver her drugs. He would later have an affair with her daughter Liza’s also apparently gay husband, Peter Allen.

This is where acclaimed actress Judy Garland fails. Hooked on barbiturates and amphetamines, she bailed on “The Barkley’s of Broadway” and had to be replaced. This would be the beginning of a trend for Garland. Only a year after giving birth to her daughter, Liza Minelli, she attempted suicide by taking shards of glass to both wrists and was institutionalized for a short time. Garland was prescribed sleeping pills for her migraine headaches, and then illicitly obtained morphine pills before bailing on film roles due to her inability to make it to the set. The young mother passed while sitting on the toilet, and rigor mortis had set in by the time she was discovered by her then husband Mark Herron.

Judy is often idolized by the LGBT community although she balked when given the opportunity to stand up for gay rights, stating “I could care less, I sing to people.”

Edward Furlong

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As a 13-year-old starring in Terminator 2, Edward Furlong made it immediately clear that he was a badass. Mostly in the way that he had no acting ambitions and had literally stumbled from the steps of Pasadena boys club to fame and fortune.

After appearing in films such as American History X, Little Odessa and Before and After and sharing the screen with greats such as Tim Roth, Liam Neeson, Meryl Streep and Anthony Edwards, Furlong made a strange choice. He soon began using his fame and popularity in Japan garnered from his role in Terminator 2 to act in commercials for Japanese products. He even released an album including a cover of The Doors song “People are Strange” but later denounced it by saying it was “the exact opposite of rock” and “a bad mistake.” That wasn’t the end of his embarrassing mistakes.

Edward was quoted stating, “Lots of money and lots of free coke will turn anyone into a cokehead” but not every celebrity is found overdosing face first in a pile of their own vomit. He was soon after arrested for driving without a license and then again for DUI — meaning he must have gotten his license, at least. A bitter split with Jacqueline Domac, his girlfriend/manager who also happened to be 15 years his senior, led her to she sue him for assault and 15% of his earnings.

It is worth mentioning that this guy doesn’t completely lack substance. A self proclaimed advocate of animals and proponent of PETA, it really is too bad he’s best at sitting poised and looking surly on his motorcycle. In one shot he both embarrassed himself and managed to get himself arrested trying to “free” lobsters from an aquarium in a Meijers grocery store — pretty accurate insight about the nutjobs behind PETA as a whole.

Brad Renfro

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Barely having made it to adulthood, Brad Renfro died at just 25 years old. Discovered at the age of 10 for the lead role in Joel Schumacher’s The Client, he shared the screen with film legends Tommy Lee Jones and Susan Sarandon. Winning awards for these roles and getting cast for Huckleberry Finn a year later in Tom and Huck launched the young actor into inevitable stardom.

Honored eight times for five of his films, and having been cast with Robert De Niro, Mickey Rourke, Wynona Ryder, Billy Bob Thornton, Brad Pitt, Kevin Bacon and Dustin Hoffman, Brad had a short but veritably impressive career.

His story is nothing short of depressing. By the age of sixteen, Brad had already picked his poison — he was arrested on cocaine and marijuana charges. Two years later, he was arrested again for allegedly attempting to steal a 45-foot yacht, causing four thousand dollars worth of damage without actually leaving port.

Renfro would be arrested three more times before his death: once in 2001 for a DUI, a public intoxication and driving without a license in 2002, and finally for attempting to buy heroin in 2005. It seems that he had simply bailed on life. With a bottomless well of untapped potential that would remain as such, Brad’s unfortunate and untimely death came in 2008 when he overdosed on heroin.

Jaimee Foxworth

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Everyone, even those who aren’t nineties babies, remembers TV sitcom Family Matters. Jaimee Foxworth played youngest daughter Jodie Winslow, but was apparently written out to make room for superstar Steve Urkel four seasons in. The rejection threw Miss Foxworth into a lifelong battle of drug abuse, alcoholism, depression and eventually drove her family into bankruptcy.

Little Jodie Winslow turned to a career in porno under the moniker “Crave.” Although she did manage to appear on TV a few more times (with her clothes on), it was clear that she had become less than a B-list celebrity. Not all celebs have the grace to bow out in a timely manner, and in an effort to gain some last minute popularity she went on reality television show “Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew.” According to a 2008 radio interview, Dr. Pinsky alleged he suspects Foxworth is still using.

She appeared again 2009 on TV One speaking out about her progression from her departure from Family Matters to her drug abuse, to porno, to showing her off her newborn son.

Taran Noah Smith

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Taran Noah Smith’s biography shows a promising young star degrade into a pathetic saga of sad and messy stories. This guy was emasculated at birth by his parents when they decided he should be given a girls name. Then he got his first job, floundering through puberty on national television when he was cast as “the ugly son” in 90s sitcom show Home Improvement starring Tim Allen.

At 17 Taran made the huge mistake of marrying a succubus known as Heidi Van Pelt. He then sued his parents for control of his 1.5 million earned from his days on Home Improvement, and promptly invested in an illegally run vegan restaurant/catering company called “PlayFood.” He and his new bride ran the company from the home he bought for himself when he was just 12 years old. After being shut down by the police, they gave a an actual restaurant space on Ventura Boulevard a try, but failed again. The resulting stress finally caused the couple to snap; although Taran’s wife cited a lack of interest in men, she also found it necessary to trash his home with an axe and break all the dishes. She finished off by urinating and defecating in every room of the four bedroom mansion. The most obvious question is: Did she actually pee and poo in every room, or did she give each room a serving of the same batch of it? Either way, Taran clearly chose a real winner.

Danny Bonaduce

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Danny Bonaduce battled long and hard with depression, and it’s no wonder if you take a glance at this man’s achievements. Getting his start as a kid on the 70′s TV show The Partridge Family, he played wisenheimer ginger and middle child Danny Partridge. When he began showing up to work with bruises became clear to the cast of “The Partridge Family” that Danny was being abused at home. Shirley Jones, AKA Mama Partridge, and others would take him home on the weekends. Despite the best efforts of his coworkers, by the end of the seventiesBonaduce was a bonafide washed up talent — he lived out of his car in order to save money for his coke fund.

Bonaduce was arrested in 1985 with 50 grams of cocaine in his car and again in 1990 at a Daytona Beach crack house — and then again when he misappropriated a whole bunch of ginger rage and physically abused some poor transvestite hooker. The former star will regularly refer to his life as a car crash, but just because you’re royally blowing it doesn’t mean you can bend physics or are excused from the responsibility over your own actions. Breaking Bonaduce, a reality show about the very angry and intoxicated man, happened and embarrassed every single poor soul involved.

River Phoenix

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You may remember the late River Phoenix as the young brooding boy from a family of alcoholics searching for a dead body with his friends in “Stand By Me”, or even as a heartthrob twink prostitute — opposite a young Keanu Reeves — on a quest to find his mother in “My Own Private Idaho.” However, it’s more likely that you’re remembering River for his untimely, tragic overdose and subsequent death.

He and his three siblings were raised by gypsy-like parents who joined their entire family into a religious cult, called the Children of God, in Venezuela. As missionaries, they were forced to use dirty tactics to make their cause seem more appealing to the rich through sex. Though the Phoenix’s were pretty high up in the Children of God food chain, they were never reimbursed for their services. This forced siblings; River and Rain to play guitar on street corners to support their family. Later, River and Rain would start a band called Aleka’s Attic. When the Phoenix parents became too disgusted by the cult’s ways, they stowed away on a cargo ship back to the U.S.

In America, a talent agency introduced River to acting. He appeared in many television shows and eventually in feature films, acting opposite Harrison ford in “The Mosquito Coast” and Sydney Poitier in “Little Nikita.” This Phoenix rose from the ashes and used his celebrity status to push his agenda of staunch veganism and animal rights into the mainstream media. In between film roles, River liked to take his band on tour. Aleka’s Attic was River’s creative outlet. Unfortunately, touring life in the early 90s also brought River to a head with a nasty drug habit.

After wrapping the filming of his latest project, “Dark Blood”, Phoenix flew to LA to play a show at Johnny Depp’s nightclub. After his set, River embarked on the night of drug abuse that would end his life. In the wee hours of the morning on Halloween 1993, River collapsed outside of the now infamous Hollywood nightclub; The Viper Room, and died shortly thereafter from lethal amounts of cocaine and heroin.

Britney Spears

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Scouted out by the industry giant known as Disney, this once adorable Mousketeer was immediately sexualized. Despite her obvious sex appeal, she was portrayed to be a young girl with morals and a lot of chastity, but was outed by then boyfriend Justin Timberlake to be not quite as virginal as she claimed.

She had made some questionable decisions at this point, including a 55-hour marriage, six months later marrying again to infamous nobody Kevin Federline. Never has there been a better wanna-be wangster than this total fool. When they started hooking up, he had just impregnated Shar Jackson for the third time. Federline told her he was shooting a commercial overseas when in actuality he was cavorting around shooting his new reality show “Chaotic” with Brit. How debonair.

At this point Britney had lost all credibility, and soon enough gave birth to two children with K-Fed only to break it off a month after her second was born. After having the magnifying glass of the media catching her every nip and lip slip, unwanted pregnancy, divorce, apparent drug abuse and inability to stay in rehab, her parenting came into question. After all, she was photographed driving around with her five month old Sean Preston in her lap. Spears was questioned by LA child services, and then again when he fell out of his high chair. She blamed the paparazzi then the nanny, respectively. The next time she dropped Sean Preston she had no-one to blame except herself, and somehow managed to hold onto her coffee. Priorities.

This shit show has no end in sight. She breaks up with K-Fed via text and files for sole custody of the children, then celebrates ice skating at Rockefeller Center. Spears explains some of these things away with that relaxed country background, but this seems more like that backward country bumpkin. Even then she had millions of fans supporting her, parental coaches, plenty of friends and the entire police forcing trying to keep her together, Britney could not manage to make her urine stay clean. She lost custody of her kids, just after her sixteen year old sister announces her first pregnancy. Even her “personal publicist” (damage control artist) resigned.

Michael Jackson

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The King of Pop had many highs and lows. If he hadn’t been put through his father Michael Joseph Jackson’s little boy singing boot camp, who knows what he wouldn’t have accomplished. Although his father had originally not approved of Michael, Marlon, Jackie, Tito and Jermaine’s idea for a band, he sure came around quick enough. Motown signed the Jackson 5 and immediately it was nose to the grindstone for the Jackson boys. Years later it became public that it was commonplace for abuse to occur during practice. After the Jackson children hit the number-one spot on the singles chart — repeatedly — Michael decided to go solo. He landed an acting gig, some Grammys and then released Thriller, arguably his best work ever in which he revealed his signature dance move the moonwalk. Thriller stayed atop the charts for thirty-seven weeks. Michael was seemingly immortal. He would test this every day by ingesting massive amounts of drugs obtained both illicitly and by prescription through many doctors.

The King of Pop had multiple elective operations, surgically altering his appearance. At the same time he had a mansion built on 2,700 acre plot, complete with an amusement park called Neverland. Many very empathetic or just ignorant people rationalize this behavior with his lack of childhood. Maybe it has to do with his allegedly fondling an 11-year-old, maybe not. He received a full body search by police and stated “it was the most humiliating ordeal of my life” and kept the family quiet with a nominal bribe of just 15 million dollars.

Jackson married Lisa-Marie Presley, and after a short marriage, Debbie Rowe. Rowe gave birth to two of his children and soon enough, Jackson was endangering his newborn by dangling the child over a hotel room terrace. In 2003, MJ was charged with seven counts of child sexual abuse and two blistering counts of administering an intoxicating agent. The alleged victim was Gavin Arvizo, a 14-year-old with whom Jackson had often played. Gavin had identified accurately the dimensions and state of Jackson’s penis; but Jackson was acquitted in 2005. When his death came in 2008 due to drug-induced cardiac arrest he was mourned for deeply by naive fans around the world.

Gary Coleman

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Little person Gary Coleman played Arnold Jackson in the celebrated American sitcom Diff’rent Strokes. Though he passed away just last May, we can be sure his catchphrase “What you talkin ’bout Willis?” will be echoed in pop culture for eons to come. Throughout his career, he appeared in 25 films — mostly made for TV movies and cameos.

Gary had some major financial difficulties which apparently stemmed from misappropriation of his trust by his parents and former business adviser. He sued and managed to win $1.28 million, but still filed for bankruptcy in 1999. This resulted in his decision to become a security guard. For a man who did not seem to have much in the way of a sense of humor about himself, that was an interesting first move.

Though famous for his comic relief, Gary’s struggle with depression was well known to those who cared. He spoke of two separate suicide attempts via pill overdose during a 1993 television interview. Coleman also had quite a few brushes with the law. First, after punching a bus driver who had mocked him and his career (or, more accurately, lack thereof). Under oath he testified, “I was getting scared and she was getting ugly”, implying that he thought the driver was going to hit him. This would not be the last time he would be under the law’s watchful eye.

Gary married famous Ebayer Shannon Price in August 2007. Things must have turned sour fairly quickly; they had been spotted arguing often during the last years of his life, and at one point she was arrested on suspicion of domestic violence. Though Gary had received his share of citations for disorderly conduct, he didn’t seem to be of any real threat. They appeared on “Divorce Court” in effort to supposedly save the marriage but eventually split up. They were, for some reason, still living together during the last five months of his life, in which he suffered two seizures and “fell down the stairs” causing his fatal brain hemorrhage.

Dana Plato

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Dana Plato played “Diff’rent Strokes” character Kimberly Drummond, big sis of Willis and Arnold (played by Todd Bridges and Gary Coleman). She is also pretty well known for her acting in “Exorcist II: The Heretic” and “The Bionic Woman.” Her time on “Diff’rent Strokes” was cut short, due to a pregnancy with boyfriend Lanny Lambert and she was written out of the show in 1984. After losing custody of her child and with no other offers for work and in an effort to revive her career, Dana posed nude in a 1989 edition of Playboy. Unfortunately her next gig landed her completely off camera, working in a dry cleaners in Las Vegas.

Things got real funky for Dana when she decided to rob a video store with a pellet gun in a cunning disguise consisting of a curly blonde wig and sunglasses. She was caught by police and bailed out by famous Las Vegas entertainer Wayne Newton. Wayne must have felt mighty stupid when she was arrested again a year later for forging a prescription for Valium. At this point, Dana took roles in movies that could be considered softcore pornography with films like, “Bikini Beach Race”, “Compelling Evidence” and “Different Strokes: The Story of Jack and Jill… and Jill.” She then showed up drunk for her cover shoot in lesbian lifestyle magazine “Girlfriends”, came out as a lesbian, and then recanted the statement.

Dana Plato passed away the day after an interview on “The Howard Stern Show” where callers had called in with a variety of different questions and comments. While some showed support and understanding, most berated her about her apparent lesbianism or drug addicted past. While she did address this on the air stating she had been clean for upwards of ten years, she also had wagered money on the outcome of a drug test, taken there in the studio. She wept when a caller had given sympathy and did not understand why people had been so cruel to her. It seemed like all too much for Plato. The next day she stopped at her mothers house in California where she had taken a moment to lay down inside her recreational vehicle parked outside the house. It was there she would die of Soma and Lortab overdose. It was ruled asuicide.

Macaulay Culkin

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Macaulay Culkin is someone whose name is almost synonymous with child stardom. After landing a starring role in the first two “Home Alone” movies, and acting in the cult classics “My Girl”, “Richie Rich”, and “The Pagemaster”, he became known as the adorable blonde actor who could hold his own acting opposite Hollywood heavyweights. What most people did not know at the time is that Macaulay had absolutely no say in which roles he took up until the mid 90s. Culkin’s father was also his overbearing manager who signed Macaulay onto movie after movie to almost single-handedly support their family. At the age of 14, Macaulay Culkin took a break from his acting career and filed for legal emancipation from his parents to gain control of his money, which was being squandered by his alcoholic father.

Macaulay became close friends with Michael Jackson. Neverland ranch was the only paparazzi-free zone he had ever known, and Jackson was a good ally to have since they were both shoved into show business by their greedy fathers. When Jackson was first accused of child molestation, the scandal cloud immediately enveloped the young flaxen-haired boy, even though Culkin attested to Jackson’s innocence saying the pop star had never acted inappropriately towards him.

Culkin’s life began a downward spiral beginning with his marriage to Rachel Miner, of “Bully” fame, at age 17. The marriage lasted a whopping two years before the couple’s separation and subsequent divorce. Then in 2004, he was arrested on drug possession charges when his friend was pulled over for speeding in Oklahoma City with Culkin in the car. Police found pot, Xanax and Clonazepam in Culkin’s possession. Ironically, the year before, Culkin had portrayed Michael Alig in the film “Party Monster.” Alig is best known in infamy for starting the club kid movement in New York City, and for being a notorious abuser and distributor of all types of narcotics. Macaulay and his actress girlfriend Mila Kunis shy away from the limelight these days.

Mary-Kate Olsen

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Mary-Kate Olsen got her early start in acting playing Michelle Tanner, along with her twin sister Ashley, on the hugely successful TV sitcom, “Full House.” After “Full House” wrapped, they made many cheesy straight-to-VHS videos such as “To Grandmother’s House We Go” and “Olsen and Olsen Mystery Agency.” Their production agency, Dualstar, funded their film and TV projects, and allowed them to later start their own fashion and make-up lines. However, the fashion lines have been widely ridiculed by animal rights activists because of the Olsen’s unabashed use of real animal fur.

When the girls reached college-age, they decided to both enroll at NYU, and during Mary-Kate’s first year at college it became apparent that her teensy figure could be attributed to more than just genetics. Mary Kate entered a rehabilitation center in 2004 because of a “health disorder” and was later discovered to have been severely anorexic. Public opinion of this once loved American icon flat lined, being that she had served as a role model for so many young girls at the time.

After that scandal, no matter how much weight her publicists claimed she gained, photos proved otherwise. To avoid the flash of tabloid cameras trying to catch a glimpse of her skeletor-like figure, Mary-Kate decided to start dressing herself up as some sort of hobo, a style she tried to pass off as boho chic. Recently, Mary Kate has done her very best to stay out of the limelight, other than a short stint on “Weeds” and a make-out scene with 67-year-old costar Ben Kingsley in “The Wackness.” In early 2008 when Heath Ledger was found dead in his Manhattan apartment, it was discovered that the cleaning lady who found him called Mary-Kate twice before calling the police. Sketchy business.

Lindsay Lohan

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Lohan grew up privileged in a nice area of Long Island with a Wall Street stock trading dad and a former singer for a mother. She was signed to Ford modeling agency at the age of three and appeared in over 100 commercials over the next seven years. At the ripe age of 11, Lindsay got her big break in the acting world, portraying twin sisters separated at birth in the Disney remake of the 1961 classic “The Parent Trap.” The success of this movie landed Lohan a three picture deal with Disney, which would give her starring roles in “Life Size”, opposite Tyra Banks, and the teeny bop crime mystery “Get a Clue.”

The diva in Lindsay first surfaced in 2002 when she was reportedly feuding with Hillary Duff over young pop star Aaron Carter. Two years later, she got the chance to play a role she knew all too well: a prissy, head-up-her-ass high schooler in Tina Fey’s brainchild, “Mean Girls.” The huge success of this film must have gotten to Lohan’s head, because she would soon signed a record deal with mogul Tommy Mattola and began to fancy herself a pop star! Her songs were glorified, auto-tuned, angsty pop crap that many Lohan fanatics wasted 12 bucks on.

Lohan has seemed to rack up more DUI charges than any other celebrities lately. She has been caught red-nosed with cocaine and was getting plastered way before she was legal. She has been booted from many a film role for just plain not showing up for work. Apparently her career has taken a backseat to her bad habits: one of her recent exploits unraveled when she fled the country rather than take a urine test to clear her record. She claims her flights back to the U.S. were delayed, but we can all tell what’s going on from the pictures (see: nip slips). Lilo recently did some time in jail and currently resides at the Betty Ford Center in an effort to avoid returning to jail for failed drug tests, which violate her terms of probation.

 

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Like most office drones, it’s hard to pass by a Starbucks on the way to work without stopping for a cup of America’s finest. But a new trend has baristas cringing and customers rejoicing: the Instant Brew. It’s not on the menu, but most baristas will make you one if the store isn’t too busy.

The Instant Brew is when baristas brew coffee directly into the cup and not into a giant vat of joe. It’s also known as a pour-over or single-drop. This trend is becoming more popular among small specialty coffee houses, and it produces a stronger brew similar to a French press, but without the grit.

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To be honest, it doesn’t matter if it was a piece of sea weed or a Great White Shark to brush by my leg while walking waist deep in the ocean.  The second I feel something funny touching me I immediately turn in my man card and scream like a little girl and run like Forest, Forest Gump.

10.  Viper Fish – His fangs are so large that they don’t fit inside of his mouth.  He kills his prey by swimming past them at high rates of speed, shanking them, prison style.

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9.  The Lamprey – All I need to know is that they feed off of blood.  Mmmm-K, nuff said.

lamprey

8.  The Moray Eal – The fact that it will bite anything that he feels is threatening him.  So if I walk by him, unknowingly, and he thinks my toe-jam stinks, he doesn’t care if I’m 6’6″ tall and 500 pounds.   He will bite my toe off, making me 497 pounds.

moray-eel

7. The Vampire Squid –  If I knew nothing else about this thing other than his name, I mean “Vampire??”  Really??  Why don’t you just call it “The Squid of Death?”

vampire-squid

6.  The Angler Fish – I know it’s small, but it’s freaky looking and their pliable body structure allow them to swallow a prey even bigger than themselves.  Oh, hell no…

angler-fish

5.  Monk Fish – It’s ugly with a large gaping mouth.  I knew a guy like that once.  Simply creepy.

monk-fish

4.  The Sea Wolf – They look like zombie fish and in today’s day and age you are what you look like.   And I fear zombies, so…

sea-wolf

3.  The Ogre Fish – Ugly bastard huh?  He’s also referred to as Fang Tooth.   You know what they say, if it looks like it can kill ya and sounds like it can kill ya, well…    you know.

ogre-fish

2.  The Umbrella Mouth Gulper Eel – It’s jaw can open large enough for it to eat things a lot larger than himself.  Oh and his stomach can stretch to accommodate such a meal.   Yea, nuff said.

umbrella-mouth-gulper-eel

1. The Great White Shark – Now I know that the Great white Shark isn’t the most aggressive shark out there, I even know that he doesn’t attack people like some other sharks do.  So why does this particular guy make me piss myself?  I blame Steven Spielberg and his little film called Jaws.

great-white-shark

 

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